I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
