Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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