Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
