Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
