did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well you can't waste a boner
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
