We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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