I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
