3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
