Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize