Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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