Small penises have feelings too.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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