I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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