Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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