I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize