I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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