Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
