She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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