i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
