If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
