The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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