just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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