yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
