You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
