Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
