Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
