Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
