look no pants
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
