margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
