As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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