Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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