Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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