I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
