Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
