wrigley field is MILF paradise
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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