Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
