did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
