shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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