i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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