she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
