I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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