Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
