I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
