Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
