New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
