I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize