was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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