this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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