Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
