His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
