Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
