I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
