dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
