White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I could fuck to npr.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
