it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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