Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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