Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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