am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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