Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
