Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize