so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize