So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize