Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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