your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
