Sry I called you an 8
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
420 ftw
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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