We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize